Samuel "Vegetable" Veasey, is a young jewish vegetearian from the outskirts of Jerusalem, it is oftern rumoured that he is the offspring of intergalactic male models Kang and Kados.

Early life

Born the year 1988 , Sam was born at a local cottage where he immediately was left to rot as his parents couldn't appreciate the fact he wore glasses... left to fend for himself, young Veasey found himself caught up in gang culture, this led to a fear for himself as he slipped into a life of crime with his new found acquaintances, Vanilla Ice and Jedward (citation needed).

Gang warfare and redemption

After slipping into a life of the underworld, Sam began spiralling into a pit of despair and took solace in his new love : Ketamine, scoring daily fixes from his friends, Sam couldn't understand the dismay of others around, calling him a "jumkie or an "addict", feeling emotional, Sam checked into rehabilitation, where he met the love of his life :the Xbox..

 After 2 years of on and off ketamine addiction, it was rumoured that Veasey was off the "gear" permenantly and even began working in a sheet metal factory whilst relentlessly playing video games as a way to combat his loss of drugs. It was no good as he was found lying in a ditch with a 3 legged dog on January 16th 2001,  police were alarmed and arrested Veasey on suspicion of cruelty to animals. He was later acquitted of all charges and fled to England to escape the judgmental neighbourhood he had grown accustomed too.

Religion and Happy endings

Upon moving to England, Sam had lost his religous ways, but after going to watch Tottenham Hotspur vs Rochdale and learning all Spurs fans are jewish without morals, he had a new outlook on life, to go to the synangogue twice a day, and read from the to'rah... however he lived in a racist, bigoted part of London, so his best bet, was a prayer mat at the local library. However the locals didn't like him, so that plans fucked.


After hitting the bottle when he came to a self-realistion that life couldn't be what he wanted it to be, he decided to travel back to Jorgon 7 to meet his parents.. but they were doinf christmas shopping, so he killed himself with a ketamine overdose.

Note : No animals were harmed in the creation of this fictional story... except the three legged dog veasey beat.

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